Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Creative vs. Creative

One of the most surprising things about programming is how creative it is. There are so many different paths to a solution; so many different ways to approach problems, that it really does reward my creative urges. Besides, the power to create whatever I dream up is invigorating. I love it.

But I noticed that at draw night, my brain was completely fried, and I thought it was sapping my drawing mojo. Over time, I recognized that it was really just a slump or bad day or lack of inspiration; that the "magic" wasn't necessarily gone, but as absent as it might be whenever I get a little distracted. But it's interesting how I panic about losing one skill for another.

I began in the gaming industry as an artist and eventually switched wholly into design, a move that was really scary to start, but that I never regretted. Now, out of necessity, I've slipped from design towards scripting, and it's scary for similar reasons. This is a switch I don't plan to make permanently because I love organizing and communicating a vision, but those fears -- that I'm losing skills and awareness as a designer like I lost skills and awareness as a modeler, texture artist, or animator -- make me nervous sometimes. I know that everything is fine, but I like sharing neuroses, whatever the worth.

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